Monday 4 January 2010

It's a New Year...it's 2010!!!


Hey there bloggers!


It's a totally new year and I started blogging sometime ago although not yet one year...pretty much still in my crawling stages....However I have told myself that this new year I will stop being lazy and start posting here more regularly! So lets hope I stick to this promise!


I would like to say however, that I have been reading almost all of the blogs that I follow and I have been here almost every day which is why I feel guilty when I don't make a post myself.Anyway here i go again....explaining, justifying why? I don't think any one's complaining?!


Anyway to get onto something more subjective....I've been in a complete relax mode all through these holidays and this has made me ponder more deeply about my life and how incomplete I feel at times! Yet I don't know what it is that would make me feel complete. I go through each day trying to escape the reality of things and blocking out alot of my troubles...this has in a way helped me cope on a daily basis...Not that I feel down and depressed or something...I just feel like I want this time to pass quick hoping the next phase would be better...looking for something positive. So usually time does really go fast...I cant imagine how quick the holidays are over,I wanted to linger on it everyday cos it allowed me to relax and do nothing. I know how stressed I get when the school starts. Anyway I want to focus on being more positive this year so I will not complain about this either.


The last year saw me through many changes in my own life and in the lives of many of my loved ones and close friends. It seemed like a year that things were happening very fast. I went on holiday back to my home and I am yet to feel homesick enough to want to go back there again. I just don't feel at home when I go there anymore...I stay with friends and I visit my mother's place and I think I'm always visiting someone's home so adding it up more to make me seem like a visitor on the move. I still cant get used to this idea cos that's still the place I call home and had lived for so long. It doesn't feel right to be there in a temporary state of mind. However on a positive note I think I can say that I have finally begun to accept Malaysia as it is. I had a grudge about everything when I first came here...cos this was not my initial plan. I ended up here on completely sudden decision which took one whole year to really sink into me! So life really has been changing around me, especially the last couple of years. People who knew me shouldn't be surprised if I seem to have changed a bit within me either!


So there, Happy New Year!! May there be laughter and love in your lives through out this year!

Cheers!